It’s normal to find yourself at a loss for what to do after a friend or family member has had a miscarriage. The heartbreak and confusion that follows is a unique type of grief, and it is difficult to understand how someone feels unless you have gone through the same thing yourself.
As a result, many people are not sure what types of gifts or gestures are appropriate after a loved one miscarries. For instance, are flowers a suitable gift? Or could they send the wrong message given the fact that flowers are most often given to mark celebratory occasions or happier times?
Flowers are a Nice Gesture of Sympathy
Even if you can’t fully fathom the pain that a friend or family is going through after a miscarriage, you can still lend comfort. One of the reasons that miscarriages are so devastating is because they feel so isolating. When you lose a loved one, at least you can share your grief with others who knew and loved that person, too. When you lose an unborn child, no one has the same level of connection to that loss as you do. As a result, it’s all too easy to draw inward and feel completely alone.
If a loved one has lost an unborn child, don’t second guess your gesture of sympathy—especially if doing so means that you don’t reach out at all. Regardless of what the gesture is, your friend needs to feel kindness and love, and you can provide it.
Flowers may be most famous as expressions of either romantic love or congratulations, neither of which are appropriate following a miscarriage. However, certain flowers can also symbolize friendship, sympathy, and care. Sending a bouquet, then, is a terrific way to let your friend know that you are thinking about them and that you are there to offer help and support if they need it.
Flowers are an especially great gift following a miscarriage because they can help add a cheerful atmosphere to a house that may now remind your loved one of what they’ve lost. The right bouquet can act as a reminder that there is still beauty and light in the world.
If you find yourself asking the question, “should I send flowers after a miscarriage,” it’s important to consider how you know the person who has suffered the loss. Are they a close friend, a family member, or a more distant acquaintance?
For close friends, sending flowers for infant loss is a lovely idea. Your friends are always there for you no matter what. During this hard time in your friend’s life, she will crave extra love and support. For many women, losing a baby can be one of the hardest parts of starting a family. Sending flowers to her home will give her something beautiful to look at.
Flowers are a reminder of a vibrant and blossoming life. They are the perfect reminder that even though your friend may feel wilted and withered now, she will bloom again.
For immediate family members, sending flowers is a thoughtful gesture of love and support. If one of your siblings has a miscarriage you may be feeling the loss too. Anytime an expected, new member of the family is lost, the whole family feels the pain. But this is an opportunity for your bonds to grow stronger. Sending flowers for the loss of a baby will let your family member know you’re for them. Including a card with a handwritten note will also help more than you think.
Even if an extended family member suffers a miscarriage, flowers will be greatly appreciated. If it’s your cousin or second cousin, sending flowers after a miscarriage is still a sweet and thoughtful action. During this time, the person who suffered the loss will find comfort in the fact that you’re thinking about them.
If one of your distant friends has a miscarriage, it’s safe to assume they would appreciate your sentiments. While it’s up to you, don’t feel like you can’t reach out to them. If you think flowers might be too much, give them a call and express your sympathy or send them a card filled with positive energy.
What Message to Write on Miscarriage Sympathy Cards
Knowing what to write on a card when sending flower after a miscarriage can be challenging. Losing a child is a traumatic event, so it’s important to use gentle language that won’t evoke too much pain for the reader. With that said, it’s also helpful to acknowledge what happened in the card.
We recommend handwriting them a note that includes some of these lines: I am so sorry for your loss. I’m here for you always. You are not alone. I’m thinking of you.
Make the card a nice balance between sympathetic and positive words. Perhaps you can ask them if they’d like to go out for lunch at their favorite restaurant or go for a walk. Stay away from saying things like “look on the bright side” or “you can always try again.” This is not constructive language for this occasion.
How to Choose the Right Flowers
Of course, as with any occasion, some flowers are more appropriate than others when sending a sympathy gift to someone who has suffered a miscarriage. White flowers express love and purity and are the most common floral gift when you are offering your condolences to someone. A bouquet of white roses might seem like a simple gift, but it sends the right message and will let the recipient know that you care. Just be sure to include a card! A card with a heartfelt message—even if it is just a few simple sentences—it can mean a lot.
Other tips for choosing the right flowers as a gift for someone who miscarried include:
- Type of flowers: White orchids, daisies and other white blooms mixed with greens are common flowers people send to someone who miscarried.
- Meanings: Each flower carries its own meaning — for example, white roses mean purity and white orchids mean continual love. Each flower can help portray the message of sympathy you’re aiming to send.
Regardless of the type of flower you send or the size of the bouquet, the message behind the flowers means the most. A close loved one grieving after a miscarriage will receive this gift of flowers as validation of their grief and experience the beautiful visual of the floral arrangement to brighten their day.
Best Sympathy Flowers for Miscarriages
If you’re sending flowers to someone after a miscarriage and you know what their favorite blooms are, send them those. You could even try to find out what flowers they like best. This will make your gesture extra special and filled with love.
At Ode à la Rose, we carry several beautiful white rose arrangements that are perfect for expressing sympathy following a miscarriage. To pick out one of these bouquets, browse our selection of white roses.