You recently broke up with your girlfriend and are feeling regretful or apologetic about the way things ended. Perhaps you just want to say something like, “I’m sorry, I hope we can still be friends.” Alternatively, maybe you want to try to win her back. Either way, you’re thinking about sending her a bouquet of flowers, and you aren’t sure whether doing so is appropriate or not.
Unfortunately, there isn’t clear etiquette on giving flowers as gifts after a relationship has come to an end. Men especially will often use flowers to apologize to their significant others after fights or bad days. However, there is a fine line between sending flowers to someone you’re in a relationship with (even if the relationship is strained) and sending flowers to someone with whom you have recently terminated a relationship.
To Send Flowers or Not to Send Flowers? That Is the Question.
So what should you do? Some people will tell you that sending flowers after a breakup is inappropriate because it makes it more difficult for both parties to move on. Other people will say that you should fight for what you want. If you think you made a mistake ending a relationship, then it makes sense to try to fix things.
If you are dead set on trying to win her back, our advice is this: don’t send the flowers, but deliver them yourself. We’ve all seen movies or TV shows where the male protagonist tries to win his love interest back by sending dozens of roses to her door or place of work. Inevitably, the girl ends up shredding the flowers in the garbage disposal or cutting them up with scissors. Ouch!
Sending flowers to her place of work is a particularly bad idea. This kind of gesture will only embarrass her, sparking conversations with bosses or colleagues about her relationship. Whether or not she’s told everyone that she is no longer in a relationship, those conversations will surely be uncomfortable and awkward. That awkwardness will only fuel her anger at you.
Even if you send flowers to her home where she can receive them in private, they will likely be too little, too late. If you’ve gone so far as to end your relationship, then likely the issue is more severe than a bouquet of a dozen roses can fix. Especially if you are the kind of guy who has leaned on flowers as apology gifts over the course of your relationship, the gesture might ring hollow.
Related Post: How Many Roses to Give a Girl
When Should I Send Flowers to an Ex Based On Our Breakup?
Find the flowers:
Breakups happen for many different reasons. Here’s our advice on how to know when to send flowers based on the length of your breakup:
Five Dates or Less:
If you just started dating, flowers might be too much. Maybe you just weren’t feeling it, or maybe she was the one who cut it off with you. Either way, if you feel like you do want to send flowers, there’s no harm there — it may make both of you feel better. Flowers can represent happy moments and memories, even if they were short and sweet.
Under One Year:
Depending on how serious you were, receiving flowers after a few months of dating would still be nice.
More Than One Year:
Definitely send flowers if it has been more than a year. One year is a long time in the dating world. Odds are, you’ve spent lots of time together and have grown close. Flowers, along with a thoughtful card, will remind your ex you still care about her, but that the timing just wasn’t right.
You Met Someone Else:
If you met someone else, sending flowers to your ex might just remind her that she lost you. On the other hand, she may still appreciate the gesture — this is your call.
If you’re trying to win back your ex, we recommend this special protocol:
Plan out what you want to say to her. Did you make a mistake that you think is fixable? Are you having second thoughts about your own decision to end things? Write out what you want to say. You can either give her a letter or speak your thoughts out loud. Both are equally as powerful.
Choose her favorite colors. Select a bouquet of flowers you know she’ll love.
Be ready to accept her decision. While it’s a valiant act trying to win her love back, she may be ready to move on. When you love someone, sometimes the best thing you can do for them is let go.
We wish you luck on your quest to get your ex back. It’s very brave to fight for love. If things don’t work out the way you plan, remember, there will always be more fish in the sea. Someone will be lucky to have you one day soon. When that day comes, you can buy flowers for them!
Sending the Right Flowers After a Breakup
If you want to send flowers after a breakup these are some great options:
The Pink Brigette:
These flowers will let her know you’re thinking about her. They’re pink and cheery and will hopefully make her smile.
If you’re trying to win back your ex, red roses — complete with talking your situation out — might do the trick.
Extra points if her name is Leonie. This elegant and peachy bouquet is soft and sweet.
Here Are Great Flowers to Send After a Break Up:
Related Post: What Kind of Flowers do Women Like?
The Perks of a Private Delivery
A better idea is to show up at her door, flowers in hand, asking her to hear you out. The biggest problem with sending flowers after a breakup is that flowers can’t talk. They can send a simple message, like “I’m sorry” or “I love you,” but they can’t talk through serious relationship issues or make your “please take me back” pitch for you. You have to be there to express your feelings, and flowers are just helpful to show her that you mean them. If it’s meant to be, it will be.